On quitting…

I am a lot of different things to a lot of different people.  Some of those things are good – like daughter, kind, smart.  Some of those things are less good – like sarcastic, cold to strangers, and I have no tolerance for stupid people.

The one thing that I can tell myself that I am not – is a quitter.  In my life, I can think of three things that I quit or walked out on.  I quit taking piano lessons when I was in eighth grade.  I quit a marriage that was killing me.  I quit a job that I was not satisfied with.  Otherwise, everything else I have said I would do – I have done.  I cannot say that I have started a task and left it unfinished.  The vast majority of the time, if I say I will do something – I will do it.  If I do not say I will do something – it means I have no interest and will not do it.

When I was young someone once promised something big to me – a trip.  That person promised me that they would take me to Six Flags.  They promised not once, but three times.  That trip never happened.  Through this I learned the pain of making promises and not keeping them.

When I was sixteen I went to Australia.  Before I left all of my friends said they would write and send letters.  I wrote hundreds (yes hundreds) of postcards to my friends and family.  Besides my parents, only one friend stayed in contact with me (thanks Shane – a friend who has always been there).  Through this I again learned the pain of making promises and not keeping them.  However, I also learned a valuable life lesson…. Find friends that love you – and value them – treasure them – respect them.  And above all else – your family will be there when everyone else is gone.

The people that make it through life are not the smartest people.  They are not the richest people.  They are not the people with houses or cars.  They are not the people that have found their security in temporary things.  They are the people that have endurance.  These people have endurance because they have built their security on solid ground.  The people that make it without faltering do so because they have security in an unmoving permanent structure.  To me, that structure is God.

Life moves up and down.  It goes through hills and valleys and rivers and canyons.  Things can be amazing one minute and terrible the next.  This does not mean we are hated.  This is simply the way life will go, because life is constantly moving.

Two days ago I woke up and was happy.  Four hours later, I was crushed by life.  It isn’t the first time this has happened.  It will not be the last.  However, I will not quit.  I will not give up.  I will endure because I am grounded in a secure force.  To quit would be to give in to temporary pain.  To quit would be to go back on promises I have made.  To quit would be to abandon people that have stuck around when everyone else walked out.  To quit would be to not endure.  I will not quit.  And but for the grace of God go I… into whatever comes next.